


Quietly Cowardly

by Dotdotbeepdot



Series: Sides Prequel Stories [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Barely any fluff but chapter 2 has potential, Blood, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders has Intrusive Thoughts, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Kid Sides, Lots of Screaming lmao, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Pre-Canon, Remus being Remus, They're around 12 ish, Virgil goes by a different name, ask to tag there is probably shit I'm not remembering, no abuse but lots of mentions of it even tho it doesn't happen, no unsympathetic sides but they are kinda dicks lmao, they're literally 12 tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:34:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28897470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dotdotbeepdot/pseuds/Dotdotbeepdot
Summary: Remus envied one thing about Roman and one thing only. Roman was fearless. Remus wished so badly that he was fearless.
Relationships: None
Series: Sides Prequel Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074788
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Logan was up early. It was his normal wake up time, but it was early for everyone else. Patton was usually the second up at three hours later at 9am and Roman at 9:30 when Patton would wake him. Logan loved his few hours of calm before the chaos that those two brought. 

His calm silence didn’t last that long however. Logan’s coffee just finished brewing when screams filled the mindscape. It was faint, it wouldn’t have been heard if it weren’t for the quiet morning. Seemingly, it was coming from the basement. One of the others must’ve been having a nightmare.

He should check on them before Patton woke up and made the whole situation wildly uncomfortable with his need to help people feel better, but his fear of the others. 

Unlocking the door to the basement— why they still had a lock on it at this point was beyond him. Anxiety and Remus have long since found a way to pop up whenever they wanted— Logan was hit with loud and desperate sounding screams. He quickly stepped onto the stairs and shut the door behind him. The screams were even louder on this side of the door. 

Walking carefully down the stairs, he came to the main floor of the basement. Deceit has been keeping the place clean, it seems. Logan almost forgot why he was down here, focused on the complete lack of broken glass on the floor like last time he was down here, but then the screaming abruptly stopped and he remembered why he was even here. 

He tried to think of where the sound was coming from and found himself in the halls of bedrooms. Anxiety was standing by a door covered in scratches and dents, biting at his thumbnail. He did a double take when he saw Logan and dropped his hand.

“What are you doing down here?” Anxiety asked. Logan gave a nod as greeting before speaking. 

“I heard shouting and came to investigate before Patton woke up,” he looked towards the door. “Wouldn’t want him to worry himself, but not do anything about it.”

Anxiety grimaced at that. Everyone knew how Patton could be. He jumped as loud gasps came from the room and harsh panting, sounding pained. Logan frowned. 

“This is the worst night terror I’ve seen from him in awhile,” Anxiety muttered. He was chewing on his nail again, speaking through it. “Usually Deceit is here to stop it before it gets this bad.”

“Where is he now?”

“In his room,” his voice turned sour, glaring at Logan, but he knew the heat in it wasn’t for him. “Having a ‘me’ day.”

Logan let out a sound of knowing. While it is very good to take a day to yourself to recharge, Deceit often takes it to another level by ignoring everything and everyone else around him. Being the side of selfishness will do that to you. 

“Is it safe to enter with Remus like this?” Logan inquired, looking away from the door and back at Anxiety when Remus didn’t start shouting again. 

Anxiety shrugged. “I've never tried. Deceit is always the one to do it.” Logan hummed. 

“I’m going in,” he stated, mostly unphased by the harsh breathing and gasps of pain. “I don’t want him to be doing this all day. He sounds hurt.”

Anxiety grunted out a “good luck” and sunk out. Logan waited no longer than a few seconds after Anxiety’s leave before opening the door.

To his surprise, Remus wasn’t asleep. 

The side was on the floor, chest to his knees and forehead to the floor, hands locked together over his head. He looked like he was crouched down for a tornado. Logan watched him twitch and pant irregularly for a good moment before taking action. As quietly as he could, he stepped over and squatted down beside him. Now this close, Logan could see that he was crying. 

Almost silently, but still crying. 

He’s never thought Remus  _ could  _ cry. 

Logan’s hand hovered over the side’s back, hesitating to touch him. Remus was awfully violent and unpredictable, something as simple as a touch in this state could frighten him and cause Logan to lose a finger or two. Not that it matters. His form can’t be altered in such a way. 

Deciding that he would rather Remus stop his crying and screaming, he rested his hand on the middle of his spine. Remus flinched, but that was the most he got out of him.

“Go away, Jan,” He gasped. He was shivering now under Logan’s touch. “I don’t wanna talk ‘bout it.”

“Remus, it’s me, Logan,” he started. Remus didn’t give a response, but his shaking did increase. “I heard your screaming and came downstairs to stop it before Patton woke up. Anxiety tells me—“

“Anxiety doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Remus took a sharp breath, holding it for a little longer than necessary, before letting it out in one big jumble of words. “He says he understands, but he could never understand what I see.”

Logan frowned, unsure about what that implied. “What do you mean?”

Remus let out a gasp and sharply tugged at his hair, hard enough to look painful. Logan wanted to stop him, but was still concerned that if he moved unexpectedly, Remus would react unexpectedly. Instead, he tried comforting him by pressing his hand firmly against his back. It didn’t seem to have an effect on him. 

Remus suddenly dropped both his hands, limp on the floor. He turned his cheek and laid it on the floor, staring with an empty gaze in front of him. 

He didn’t look good. 

“Has Patton ever hit one of you?”

Logan started, mouth fallen open slightly in his shock. His response was immediate. 

“No. No, of course not. Patton wouldn’t hurt a fly,” he hated to admit that dread metaphorically filled his stomach at the question. It was true, Patton has never— and would never— hurt anyone on purpose. Thomas wasn’t like that, so Patton would never be like that. “Whatever gave you the idea that Patton would ever abuse someone?”

“He does sometimes,” his limp hand came up to point at his face. “In my head. He hits, kicks, and screams at me like no tomorrow.” Remus actually laughed at that. Like anything he said was possibly funny. How could he think abuse is funny? “All of you do.”

“Remus, this is serious,” he said. Logan tilted head slightly to try and look Remus in the eye. The side only did for a second before focusing on the ground beneath his head. “Thoughts like this can hurt how you see people. Have you talked to anyone else about this?”

Another laugh bubbles out of Remus’ mouth, making him smile. “It made Deceit cry when I told him.”

“You need to keep talking about these thoughts,” Logan said firmly. His hand moved to brush Remus’ hair out of his face. “With anyone who will listen. If not with Deceit, then with Anxiety.”

“Not with you?” Remus flicked his eyes back up to look at Logan’s, and then back down. Logan sighed carefully through his nose. His hand faltered for a moment, before pulling back. 

“I’m not good with things like this, Remus,” he answered. He didn’t like the way the other deflated because of this. “I wouldn’t be the comfort you need.”

“Whatever,” he turned his head so his forehead was pressed into his patchy carpeted floor once again. “Just leave so I can continue screaming until Deceit wakes up.”

“Deceit is having a ‘me’ day, according to Anxiety.”

That… wasn’t the right move, apparently. 

“Just get out!” Remus shoved himself off the floor, startling Logan into standing. Remus fumed on the floor, panting, face red and splotchy from lying and crying on the floor. “You think you know how shit works, Dr. Phil, but you are just a 12 year old asshat like me and everyone else! What gives you the  _ right  _ to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do, huh?!”

“I only wished to help—“

“Yeah, well!” Remus threw his hands up and folded them against his chest. “I can’t be helped! I’m a hopeless case, and frankly, I like it that way!”

“You are not a hopeless case, Remus—“ whatever his next words were cut off as an image covered with shadows plagued his vision. It’s of Logan and Remus in a similar situation like this, except Logan was the one shouting and Remus was shaking on the floor. The Logan in the vision took a threatening step closer and both the fake Remus and real Logan step back, breaking the metaphorical spell he was under. 

Remus was smug when he got out of it, watching him gasp and pant at the terror he made him feel. Logan narrowed his eyes. “Fine. Next time I hear you screaming and crying, I’ll leave you alone.”

Remus clenched his jaw. Despite the smug expression, his shaking was much worse than before.  _ “Peachy.” _ He gritted out through his teeth. 

Logan slammed the door behind him and— like he promised— he didn’t blink an eye the next time he heard Remus sobbing through the early morning hours.


	2. Chapter 2

Patton jumped as he heard banging coming from the basement door. “What is that?”

Roman rolled his eyes, nose buried in one of his many fantasy books. “It’s probably Remus. He’s such a baby— if no one is in the mood to humor him, he tries annoying me to play.”

 _“Patton!”_ A voice that definitely wasn’t Remus shouted through the door. _“Patton, open the door_ , _we need your help.”_

“That’s Deceit,” _that_ definitely got his attention. He got up to see what the other wanted, but Roman quickly followed to stop him. “Roman, what—“

“Don’t trust him,” the prince insisted in a hushed tone. He glanced at the door again as the banging continued. “Deceit isn’t the same anymore after being down there so long. Anxiety told me what a selfish little snake he’s becoming.”

“Why are you talking with Anxiety?”

“We’re enemies now.”

“What?”

_“Patton!”_

Patton believed Roman, but he hasn’t seen Deceit since just before Christmas _two years ago._ Well, that's if you didn't count all the times Deceit has come up disguised as one of the others just to steal stuff from them. If something was wrong, _something was wrong._ So, he dodged Roman’s hand as he tried to stop him from answering the door. He unlocked it and opened it ajar to peer inside. Deceit immediately stopped knocking and dropped his head, using the poor lighting of the stairwell to shadow his face. 

“What’s wrong?” Patton asked carefully, holding a hand out behind him at Roman to shush him when he started to complain and/or taunt him. Deceit shifted and turned his head to the right. 

“Come downstairs,” his head tilted slightly to Roman. “Alone, if you may.”

“No way, you _fiend.”_

“Roman, please,” Patton sent a warning glare to the younger side, making him pout. He turned apologetic eyes back to Deceit. “Of course I’ll come down. Is everything okay?”

“Yes.”

And with that, Deceit turned around and disappeared back down. Patton spun around as well and smiled reassuringly at Roman, hand still on the doorknob. “I’ll be right back! If Logan asks, just tell him I’m visiting the others.”

“Promise you’ll be careful?” Roman sounded nervous, much more his age (and despite what Logan kept saying that it is physically impossible for any of them to have ages, Roman was still the baby to all of them). Patton gave a reassuring smile, touched that Roman was worried for him.

“I promise.”

Patton wasn’t greeted by Deceit when he made it to the end of the stairs. No one was there to greet him, actually. Just an empty room. He started to wander to see if he could find Deceit again. He found him standing outside what Patton believes is their bathroom. Before he could ask again what was wrong, he halted in his steps and gapped at Deceit. 

“Patton—“

“What happened to your _face?!”_

Deceit sighed. The ugly snake side of his face shifted with his scowl, stretching in a frightening way. Patton shuddered. “That is hardly the problem right now, but if you _must_ know, I’ve changed it. If you want me to be the two-faced liar you all call me, then I’ll be the two-faced liar.”

Patton winced. “Deceit, that’s not—“

“Remus is trapped in the bathroom.”

“Wh-what?”

“Remus is trapped in the bathroom,” Deceit repeated. A gloved hand came up to rest on the aged wood of the door. There was a sheltered expression on his face. “I… I don’t know what he did, but he… doesn’t _love_ small spaces. But he uses them like self-punishment. He won’t let me or anyone else in, and in a time of desperation, I was hoping you could find a way to get to him.”

“Why me?” Patton glanced between Deceit and the door, heart pounding at the thought of seeing Remus again when he’s not in the right mind. He’s always so scary like that. Patton could never understand why he couldn’t just… not... be like that. 

“It’s not my right to tell you why, but he would listen to you.” Deceit sounded… almost upset by the news. Patton wondered how he figured that out. 

“Why can’t you just, I dunno, copy my voice like you did that one time?”

“I’ve tried,” Deceit shut his eyes— he had one snake eye now and Patton knows that he shouldn’t be staring because that was rude, but it’s so _freaky—_ and sighed. “He knows when it’s me, now. I can’t fool him like I used to.”

Patton wanted to ask more questions. Why did he need to fool Remus? Why did he use Patton’s voice? What exactly _happened_ to his face? 

But he kept them behind his teeth and swallowed them down. Taking a step towards the door, he carefully pressed his ear against the door, listening closely. Inside, all he heard was harsh breathing and the occasional gasp. Patton could feel his heart breaking at the sound. The poor kid…

“Hey, um, hey Remus?” He gently wrapped one knuckle on the door. The breathing halted to a quick stop and he held it in his chest. Patton continued. “Hey. It’s Patton. Or uh, you might still just know me as Morality. Deceit told me you won’t come out; are you hurt, kiddo?”

No response. Patton glanced over at Deceit. The side looked worried, more genuine than he’s ever seen him, but quickly hid it again with a passive mask. He gestured for him to go on. Patton cleared his throat. 

“He’s really worried about you,” he said. “He actually came to me to try and get you out. Right, Deceit?”

Deceit started and glared at Patton. Sighing again, he stepped up next to Patton and faced the door. 

“He’s right, Remus,” He said simply. Patton gestured for him to go on, smiling as he thought about how Deceit did the same to him moments ago. Deceit mocked his smile and rolled his eyes. “Please, come out. You haven’t eaten in two days and any longer could be harmful—“

“He hasn’t eaten in _two days?!”_ Patton didn’t mean to interrupt or to shout, but two days?! Even Logan will humor him after two days and eat a little, and he’s the pickiest eater Patton’s ever seen! “Deceit, that’s not okay!”

“Wow, Patton, I didn’t know that!” Deceit hissed at him. “Do you think I’m an idiot! I’ve been trying to get him out to eat since he shut himself in here!”

“Just sink in there and grab him!”

_“I can’t do that! Who knows what he'll do if I did that!”_

“We need to get him out of there, it’s almost dinner—“

Their fighting was cut short as they heard giggling from inside. Both Patton and Deceit looked at each other. Patton was stunned at the smile that broke out on Deceit's face. Even the fangs didn’t bother Patton because he hasn’t seen Deceit smile in _years._ Even before the split. This smile was so...

Genuine.

Deceit pressed his ear against the door, his hands joining on both sides on his head. “I hear that, my little monster.”

Remus giggles again much louder, like an evil cackle or a witch’s laugh. It would have been disturbing if it weren’t for the honest grin on Deceit’s face. It was almost… actually cute. 

“Did us fighting make you laugh?” There was mumbling from inside, but neither of them could understand him. “Darling, I need you to come out if you want us to hear you.”

As if God heard Patton’s prayers, the door unlocked and both the sides stepped back with wide, anticipating smiles on their faces as the knob turned and Remus opened the door. 

And then Patton’s face dropped. 

Remus was covered in bloody scratches from head to toe. His fingers were drenched up to the knuckle with his own blood. His eyes and nose were red with tears and snot. Even his _teeth_ were red and Patton _really_ didn’t want to know why there was blood in his _teeth._

Deceit, however, didn’t blink an eye at all the blood and his smile was still stuck on his face. How could he still look at Remus so _lovingly_ when he did that to himself? How was he so _unphased?_ This was… this was just…

“There you are," Deceit clapped his hands together, startling Patton and making him jump. "Now, let's put some medicine on you. Would you like to help me kill a chicken for dinner?”

“Yes, please!”

Patton sunk out as fast as he possibly could. He could still smell all that blood. Oh, gosh, all that blood. It had all come from _Remus_ too. How was he still standing? How could Deceit not feel sick knowing his child was capable of hurting himself like that? He didn’t even _blink an eye_ at him. What had even _happened_ to Deceit. 

“Patton?”

How could Deceit so sweet and loving to someone so… to _something_ so…

“Patton?”

So _evil._

_“Patton!”_

He jumped with a shout, hands coming up to cover his mouth. Someone was gripping his shoulders and his eyes focused on the worried Roman in front of him. 

Patton flinched away. 

Roman let go of him. He was pale, staring at Patton in an almost pained way. “Gosh, what did they do to you?”

He didn’t respond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patton is absolutely terrified of Remus, but he has a lot of hope that one day Remus would get over this darker stuff and be like a second Roman. He forgets Remus is still just a kid like the rest of them and when Remus does something particularly nasty, Patton sees him a monster instead of a child.
> 
> Remus just hears Patton.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus was having another night terror. Janus was here to help him this time, but it still sounded bad. He wasn’t calming down. 

August did what he always does when stuff like this happens. He flocks around the door, chewing on his nails, sleeves, anything he could sink his teeth into. He was never helpful in these situations because he would always overreact to Remus. 

The only and last time he’s tried Remus calm down after a night terror was one of the first nights in the basement. The only reason he came out with his head on his shoulders was because Roman was still here to help. Roman always seemed to help calm Remus down back then. 

The more the sobbing continued, the more anxious August would get. He started bouncing on his feet, trying to distract himself. Not that it worked. Once he gets his mind on something concerning him, he latches onto it. And right now, his mind was on Remus  _ still  _ not calming down even with Janus in there with him. 

Without even realizing it, August was wrapping his knuckles on the door. A burst of anxiety rushed through him when he did, but Janus shouted for him to come in before any overwhelming thoughts popped into his head. He opened the door slowly and stuck his head in. 

Remus was under his bed and Janus was trying, in vain, to convince him to come out. Janus tried giving him a smile when August opened the door, but it was strained, exhausted with trying all morning to calm their resident Creativity. August stuffed his hands in his pockets and pushed the door open a little more so he could slip in. 

“What’s the damage?” He asked, glancing at Remus as if he could get a clue from his face. Remus had his head buried in the carpet, however. Janus sighed. 

“I believe it’s about drowning this time,” Janus said. He turned his head back towards Remus. “He woke up gasping and threw up in his bed. Don’t worry, I’ve cleaned it already, all we need to do is get him out from under the bed before he starts hurting himself.”

August grunted and moved to sit beside Janus. Closer up, August can see that Remus was breathing way too fast and if he didn’t slow down soon, he’ll throw up again. He could feel the panic building in his stomach.

Despite being a big scaredy cat and terrible at confrontation, he did know how to distract people from things. Usually by making things worse, but sometimes he helped out. 

“Remus?” He licked his lips and shifted. “Can you hear me? Do something if you can.”

There was a twitch of his fingers, drumming against his head. He didn’t stop once he started. That was a weird thing that Remus did. He would drum his fingers and bounce around and wouldn’t stop until he gets distracted by something. They needed to distract him. 

“Do you uh, want to talk about it?” He looked towards Janus to see if he was doing good. Janus nodded, so August continued. “‘Cause… I know nightmares suck sometimes. I get it, man.”

Janus winced. 

“Oh, shut up!” Remus dragged out in a low whine before ending with a shout. He pushed himself up and smacked the back of his head against the bottom of the bed as he glared at August. “You don’t  _ get it,  _ you don’t  _ get anything!” _

“Remus—“

“No, you know what, Janus? I’m fucking tired of this jerk thinking he understands what I go through—“ Remus crawled out from under his bed, keeping eyes on August. “I am not Anxiety, I’m Creativity. My thoughts aren’t overreacting, they’re all I know. My nightmares aren’t about ‘oh, all Thomas’ friends secretly hate him!’”

Remus mocked August’s voice, pressing the back of his hand delicately against his forehead. He tossed his head back like a damsel. August bit his tongue to stop from snapping at Remus to cut it out. He looked towards Janus to back him up, defend him a little, but he didn’t say a word, just clenched his jaw and looked to the wall next to him. 

Remus dropped his hand and stared at August with a flat expression. “My  _ dreams  _ are stuff like that. My  _ nightmares, _ however? My nightmares are about blood and guts, and choking and screaming. Sometimes I’m the one getting hurt, but sometimes  _ you  _ are the one under my fists. Tell me you ‘get it’ when you see me flinch when you raise your hand.”

August swallowed, past the lump in his throat, and let out a shaky breath. “You’re… you’re fucking sick, Remus…”

“What about you?” Remus asked with false innocence. He batted his eyelashes and smiled sweetly, resting his hand on his chin, still drumming. “I thought you ‘get it’ hm?”

August got up from the floor and was out the door, slamming it behind him. His hands shook as he opened his door and pressed his back against it. Fucking Remus… fucking Janus not sticking up for him… fucking  _ August  _ what a stupid fucking idea _.  _

He gasped and shook, painfully aware that he sounded so much like Remus minutes ago. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virgil's is short mostly because I don't image him stay for very long if Remus is like this. And yeah one of Virgil's names before settling on Virgil was August (mostly because it was my favorite of the hc names pre-AA, but also because Ceasar's son/nephew i don't remember blah blah blah it has the -us that the others have blah blah blah stuff like that).


	4. Chapter 4

Roman tapped and tapped his pencil against his desk. It was way past Patton’s supposed “bedtime” but he just… couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because of this big project Thomas had to do tomorrow just before he has to turn it in, but Roman was filled with so much excess energy that he couldn’t _possibly_ rest. 

It was also maybe the fact that his neck was starting to ache and he knew it would be worse if he laid in bed. 

Deciding to do something with this much energy, he went searching for Anxiety to see if he could pick a fight with him. 

Anxiety was often in all the nooks and crannies of the mind, always able to worm himself into anything. He’s been spending a lot of time upstairs lately and Roman took it upon himself to chase him back down. It was like herding cattle, except it was only one person and not a bunch of cows, and he would hiss and scratch at him, unlike cows. 

Roman searched the Core first before popping around other parts of the mind. The useless kitchen they had (they could just summon food, but Patton insists that they cook sometimes), the others’ rooms (even though Anxiety has never been in there, it was still always a possibility), and the imagination. 

It was the latter where he found _him._

Well, _a_ him. Not Anxiety. 

Roman scoffed, leaning against the trunk of the tree as he watched his brother pace in uneven circles. He never sees Remus in the imagination. Ever since the split, Roman has been the only one occupying the space. There is a little shadowy area that could be Remus’ but it was small and out of the way, never used. 

Why he was here was the real question. 

He couldn’t hear from the trees, but Remus was mumbling something, grabbing at his head and throwing it around he stumbled around. He looked deranged. It was almost funny. 

Funny if Remus wasn’t so creepy. 

“What are you doing here, Remus?” Roman said, smug like a cat. Remus reacted comically, falling back on his butt with an embarrassing shout. Roman had to stifle a laugh. 

“Wh—“ Remus stuttered for a few moments, utterly confused to see his brother after months of ignoring him. “Why— are you real?”

“What?” Roman was taken aback by the question. “Of course I’m real?”

“How can I believe you?” Remus quickly scattered to his feet, making a small dust storm as he kicked the dirt, trying to grab purchase. He was advancing on Roman fast, but he stood his ground.

Until summoned a _fucking_ axe and swung it at Roman’s head.

 _“Woah!”_ He dodged, falling and crawled back on his hands in the grass. Remus didn’t swing at him again, but stared at Roman’s fallen body. “What the hell do you think you’re doing!?”

“Just making sure,” Remus shrugged. The axe disappeared and he dropped back down on his ass and leaned against the tree, arms limp on his thighs. He dropped his head onto the tree and a laugh bubbled up his throat. “Ah, you can never be too careful nowadays.”

“What does _that_ mean?!” Roman shouted. He pushed himself up and stormed up to Remus, towering over him. Remus just rolled his eyes up to him. “What has gotten into you, Remus? You almost took my head off and for what?! Are you trying to kill me?!”

 _“No,_ you drama whore,” he laughed again at Roman’s offended tut. Remus shut his eyes and griminced, bringing up a hand to smack against the side of his head. “My nightmares always act up in here and sometimes it helps to kill them. Literally. _Violently.”_

Roman felt a little tug of something that turned his scowl into concern. He tried hiding the feeling by pushing his chin up and glaring down at Remus, arms crossed over his chest. 

“You still have nightmares.” It came out more of a statement than a question. An attempt at hiding his feelings again. He didn’t really _care_ if Remus was still having nightmares. It’s not like they were actually _bad._

Remus was just overdramatic, even for him. 

“Yeah,” Remus sounded more subdued now, but that doesn’t mean he’s calmed. Roman knew better than that. “This one was about giant spiders with acid-like webs. I was all wrapped up in it. It was like he was digesting me before he was actually digesting me.”

Roman laughed.

 _“That’s_ your nightmares?!” Roman kept barking out laughter, ignorant to the shocked expression on his brother’s face. “The great and terrible _Remus_ has nightmares about _spiders_ like a common child?! I expected more from you!”

“Shut up!” 

Remus’ voice cracked in the middle and it only made Roman laugh more. Remus felt utterly humiliated, and in his rage, he kicked Roman hard in the crotch. It was off putting how his anger didn’t waver to even chuckle at the stumble and squeal from his brother. He pushed himself up, tempted to kick him again because he was being such a _little prick_ , but only stood above him. 

“It was really scary, Roman!” He shouted at him, stomping his foot angrily and ignoring Roman’s flinch, curling into a ball to protect himself from being kicked there again. “You would be screaming for your stupid daddy to save you if you were in my shoes.”

Roman bravely (or stupidly) let out a thin breath of laughter in his pained state. “I so would not! And you know why?”

“Why?!”

“Because I’m not a measly little _coward_ like you are!”

_“Fuck you!”_

Remus kicked at him again, accidentally getting a finger from Roman trying to protect himself and watching him cry out. Not like he could tell what he was kicking anymore, he was madder than he’s ever been. 

Roman _still_ laughed at him.

Both of them were panting from exertion. Remus was shaking. From anger or left over fear, he didn’t know. Maybe something else entirely, he didn’t care. All he cared about was making Roman suffer at the moment. 

“I’m _sorry_ I didn’t get any of the _blind stupidity_ that made you so _brave,”_ he spat out each word at Roman like he was dirt, leaning close to his ear now. “And I’m sorry I thought you still had enough of that _oh so precious_ love—” he clapped his hands together next to cheek, cooing the words mockingly to his brother as he glared at him through his bangs. “—you and Patton are just _raging_ about, for me in that cold and empty _thing_ in your chest that you call a heart.”

He leaned closer, close enough that there would be no trouble hearing him as he whispered;

 _“One day, I’ll show you what it’s like to be me, to be afraid of everyone and everything around you. And you’ll break just… like… I…_ did.”

Roman shoved him away and Remus let him. There was no fear on his brother’s face, but he made his point. He sunk out without another word, leaving Roman to get up from the dirt alone. 

“What a creep.” he muttered, resisting a shudder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Remus are too similar sometimes, but neither of them think that and that fucks them up. Dick move on Roman's part tho lmao I hate 12 year old cis boys with fragile masculinity.

**Author's Note:**

> Logan tried, but he gets on Remus' nerves too much to do anything. Two boys hiding their real feelings never works out for the better.


End file.
